Bad (Clean) Jokes

[Bunny_Whabbit]

You asked for bad but clean jokes. =/
Some are mine some ain't. (Fewer are)

For all you whom don't understand some of these check this link. =)

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"
"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.
To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

A neutron walks into a bar and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "for you? no charge."

A man walks into a bar.
Ouch!

A baby seal walks into a club.

Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a beer, and one for the road."

A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

A man didn't like his haircut, but it started to grow on him.

A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way.

There’s two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says
‘You man the guns, I’ll drive’

Who should you avoid playing poker with?
Hint ->A Cheetah!<-

Why are all the frogs around here dead?
Hint ->'Cause they keep croaking!<-

What did one snowman say to the other?
Hint ->Do you smell carrots?<-

Why did Simba's father die?
Hint ->Because he couldn't Mufasa!<-

What did 0 say to 8?
Hint ->Nice belt!<-

What does a vegan zombie eat?
Hint ->Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!<-

What was T-Rex's favorite number?
Hint ->Ate!<-

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?
Hint ->Claude<-

What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
Hint ->OH SNAP!<-

What washes up on tiny beaches?
Hint ->Microwaves!<-

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?
Hint ->Because he was a little shellfish.<-

Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Hint ->Too many Cheetahs!<-

Why do milking stools only have three legs?
Hint ->'Cause the cow's got the udder!<-

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Hint ->Roberto<-

How does an octopus go to war?
Hint ->WELL-ARMED<-

What was Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Hint ->BANANANAAAAAA!<-

What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks?
Hint ->DINO-MITE!<-

What do you do with a sick boat?
Hint ->You take it to the doc!<-

What do you call a fish with no eye?
Hint ->Fssshh<-

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves?
Hint ->Russell<-

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Hint ->A gummy bear!<-

Why was the sand wet?
Hint ->Because the sea weed!<-

Which side of a cheetah has the most spots?
Hint ->The outside.<-

Why is the ocean blue?
Hint ->Because all the little fish go blu, blu blu.<-

Why did the cookie cry?
Hint ->Because his mother was a wafer so long!<-

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
Hint ->Bob<-

// M

[maztec]

Oooph, those are bad!

And yes, let's try to keep this clean. I figure mine was borderline, but you are right on calling me out on it.

[Gdamatov77]

only 3 of those i didnt understand.

the tiny beaches one- answer not revealed
the frog one- answer not revealed
and the beethoven one- answer not revealed

[mattangel]

On another note, here's your daily PSA:

The bg hex is F8F8F8 for scroll over. May be useful in this thread.

[mattangel]

This one may require the use of some imagination and a membership in the mushroom party but,

What is Mario's overalls made of?

Denim denim denim.

[Gdamatov77]

i dont know, maybe if we search hard enough for a ghost in the water, we may find the answer.

LOL matt, ur mistake was the period at the end

[Bunny_Whabbit]

only 3 of those i didnt understand.

the tiny beaches one- answer not revealed
the frog one- answer not revealed
and the beethoven one- answer not revealed

Then your doing something wrong since I can see it.
Also, check the link at the top if you don't understand.

On another note, here's your daily PSA:

The bg hex is F8F8F8 for scroll over. May be useful in this thread.

Hmmm, I can see that now, but it looked good when I tried prview, will fix this. =)

There, done!

// M

[Gdamatov77]

i mean i saw the answer, but it didnt make sense to me. ill see the link for undersstanding. i didnt care for it because it was only 3 jokes

[Bunny_Whabbit]

Oooph, those are bad!

And yes, let's try to keep this clean. I figure mine was borderline, but you are right on calling me out on it.

Those are clean, yes? I did avoid typing down more visual ones.

// M

[mhuti]

OK try this one Maztec, being a Father Ted fan I thought you'd have liked the Nun joke, anyway.... (there is not a spelling error below).

Is there such a think as a pink elephant?